Is blogging healthy? Sure. Why not. What's so bad about writing your personal thoughts out for strangers to see? Nothing.
THIS IS WHO I AM. I change every 5 minutes, and what I write reflects that. But it's ok. I'm growing. I'll level off eventually.

::::Anyways::::
I have recently realized that people might actually read this blog, so here is my update.
~~~~~~~UPDATE~~~~~~~
I have stopped running away from the call on my life. Some of you know it, and some of you don't. That is perfectly alright.
I've been running and ignoring for almost exactly a year. Interesting, no?
I'm where I need to accept this call, and work towards it. Which might require me to make some major upheavals in my life!
I'm scared. I don't like change. It would be a major change for me, and wow...I'm trying to find peace in this situation, because I know that it is what I need to do. It would be a good change. Really it would.
So I'm praying and seeking what I know is God's will.
Here I go!!!!!

Jambled mess of thoughts.

I'm so tired but I want to try to get this down while it is fresh in my mind.
So I had made plans this weekend to attend a human trafficking seminar at ZBC. I was then presented with an opportunity to attend the Band banquet being attended by a huge chunk of my music major friends. I really wanted to go, but K and I were planning on spending the night at ZBC, so I couldn't do both. I was hemming and hawing trying to figure out what to do, and then I prayed. Sounds so simple right? (I'm getting back to praying about decisions, and giving them serious thought). I came to the decision that if I went to ZBC, then I would have more of an opportunity to affect someone's life or to make a difference. God wanted me there, that was all I knew. Friday evening comes, and K and I decide it would be better to head to ZBC in the morn and not spend the night, so I tried to go to the banquet...no tickets. I was alone, and I was depressed. Then I prayed. I was having a couple of days where the rough patches were catching up with me and really bringing me down, but of one thing I was still certain, God wanted me to go to ZBC. I then said to Him "This better be good!" ( I was really tired and upset!!)
K and I went, and I really think we went so God could remind her of some things, which is awesome. I've been inspired to write another song (which I haven't done in a while). While I did learn about HT, there were other things that happened that God used in a simple way to remind me, just how awesome being in tune with Him was. I'm really excited about God, and I haven't felt that way in a while.

Yeah, I think I will start this again. I think it's healthy. :)

I'm resisting the urge to delete my previous post. As much as I love to see how I've grown and matured...and made sense out of things, and have stopped being stupid in some areas (hehe that never stops), I still hate to look back on it. :P
O well, I believe I will try to do this again. Maybe build up my readers :), get some good conversations going.
I have changed a lot since July. I also believe that to be an understatement. Instead of going into details that are long and boring for you my reader, I will sum it up in this song by Natalie Grant.

"Will Not Be Moved"

I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go
And is the reason why...

[Chorus:]
I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on

[Chorus]

And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I've worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved

[Chorus]


More to come!

New again!

Yes I deleted my entire blog. I didn't like it. :)
I'm starting to take some responsibility for my confusion in life. Ha, if that makes any sense.
My entire "religion" has been what people have told me. Their interpretation of Scripture. I've relied to heavily upon others, and I am now confused with most of what crosses my path. So I'm going to take some time to read for myself, not just the "reading through the Bible in a Year" stuff. It's more of a study. I'm taking one subject at a time, and sitting down with a concordance and a KJV and NIV bible, and seeing what they have to say about those subjects. In doing this, I hope to figure things out on my own, to believe because "I" believe, not because someone told me to. Yes, I have hit that part of my life where I need to make my "religion" my own. I'm taking responsibility! Woot!
I will use this blog to write about my newfound realizations and discoveries. Take tonight for example, I was reading, and I was thinking about how there are a lot of laws set into place in the Old testament. None of which are followed today, and it would be crazy to. Now I know that those laws were set in place before Christ was crucified and buried, then the rules weren't so much DIE you did this DIIEE! Then a simple realization hit. The Old testament-old rules. New Testament-the new life we have in Christ because of His sacrifice. Simple things like that are cool to me.
More to come.